Been Thinking About Things (TIB pitch)

So because I'm going to work on a "This I Believe" style approach to the project next week, I've been thinking about what Marisa believes. What does she believe? My two ideas have been:
1. I believe in driving alone for long lengths of time with nothing but music as company.
2. I believe in being challenged by every aspect of your life.

The first one... I travel five and a half hours to North Carolina at periodic intervals throughout the year. Each of these five to six hour drives allows me to be completely alone with nothing but my music at my side and maybe a couple Milky Way Midnight bars and a can of Nos. The first year I went to NC, I heard my music in a place where I had never heard them before. I was traveling through the unknown with pop, indie-pop, and rock 'n' roll as my soundtrack. When I actually got a chance to listen to the singers time and time again say how much they were SO over whats-his-face, and how much they wanted to "drink up in this club," or say the same sentence for 5 minutes made me think about something. People can really be defined by their music. It shapes who you are and what you're doing at this current time. If you like being associated with the club and the drama of getting Romeo to come home with you, that's exactly what you'll do when you have a minute. I did it. I was there. However, I came across a group of performers one day.. Their lyrics touched me, "Most of all, the world is a place where parts of wholes are described within an overarching paradigm of clarity and accuracy. The context in which makes possible an underlying sense of the way it all fits together, despite our collective tendency not to conceive of it as such." When I heard that, it was a music changer for me.. a life changer. I realized there's a deep side to music that goes beyond just jamming around at the club and getting over that guy who made you feel like crap when you were 17. Not that I didn't already realize a world of music like that was out there, I was just conducting my life in a different manner that, in a way, exempted me from the beauty of music. Traveling alone with my music made me realize that there's a side of life I haven't touched. There's beauty way up on the mountain I just spent 3 hours hiking - enjoy that. There's parts of life that are indescribable and that is just okay. If your life doesn't traverse past the club and alcohol, your music will reflect that. If you can take the time and know the bits and pieces of every band, album, innovation, and song lyrics, your life will reflect that. Take some time and drive alone with your music - reflect on your life.

As for the second one.. Being challenged. A life should be challenged on a daily basis and this is something I firmly believe in. If you're not challenged, you're either living too easily or too lazily. More often than not, it's the latter. This is why I've taken up journalism. It challenges me to find out about the unknown and know as much as I can enough to tell someone else about it. It's how I've always needed my life to be. If I'm not challenged by a situation or person in my life, I grow bored and confused... Sometimes, I even spiral into a depression and refuse to do anything. I've given up countless friendships, relationships, even homework and career choices, just because of the lack of challenge. If I do the same, mundane thing every day, it removes me from who I am and causes me to act out in such a way that's against my character. That's probably why I've embraced my retail positions. They're so painstakingly boring, that I love it when I get there. I'm disgustingly happy and cheery and really get into the role of picture perfect cashier. However, when I'm off the clock, yeah, I'm happy and cheery, but I'm also snarky, rude, and don't care to tell people how it is. I can tell when someone doesn't like to be challenged by the ways they react to my initial challenge. It's almost like I dip into Jack Nicholson's role of Colonel Jessup in A Few Good Men when he screams, "You can't handle the truth!" If you can't handle the challenge, then why am I wasting my time? I've got to move on. Challenge is scary, yes, I'll admit. But without challenge, the United States wouldn't be what it is today... And because of the absence of challenge, the United States has become what it is now. Challenge yourself and don't let anyone stunt that challenge you deserve.


The End.

* * *

(while this may have no potential, I just wanted to say it.)

I also believe in getting weird and sharing it. Get weird and let things remind you of other things. There are smells that remind you of spring, there are smells that pull on the heartstrings of your nostalgia. One of my most favorite smells you'll probably never understand unless you've done this exact thing: I used to play Knights of the Old Republic on the original X-Box in the middle of the night and all the while, I'd press the controller up to my nose and breathe in the plastic casing. Every time I smell that all-too-specific kind of plastic, I'll always remember my nights playing KOTOR. Make a soundtrack for every quarter and listen to it with some consistency. I've found that I can recall what was going on around me way better when a song from a previous soundtrack happens to come on my shuffle.. And it reminds me of all the weird things I did. I can remember the morning I came home from one of the most traumatic trips to the hospital and listening to Bon Iver from 7am to 2pm. Now, every time a specific song comes on, I'll remember that hospital visit. And here I am sharing it with you. Why should I hide it? Why shouldn't you know? What're you going to do beyond know a bit more about my inner mechanisms. Watch a show you never thought in a million years you'd watch. Something underground, Japanese, and short. Let yourself get sucked in and enjoy every drop of weirdness within it. Share those weird feelings with others. Show them an odd experimental band that you've fallen in love with, sit them down in front of an independent film shot in the backwoods of Bumfuck-Nowhere. Tell someone about the odd websites you traversed in the early stages of internet-exploration and what you found there. I used to write constantly on text-based role-playing games. It's how I discovered my love for writing... and because of that weird "gaming" experience I had, here I am today writing to you and for publications. Be weird, share it, find other weirdos. Usually they turn into your best friends.

15 minutes.

I'm just going to say something 15 minutes before this class starts. Got a response on my writing style and apparently someone isn't too happy about the voice I choose to write my responses. Makes me pretty sad. I write as I talk and sometimes I think people can't hear me and therefore do not like my writing. Unfortunately, that's not about to change. My prompt was to "Write a 500-750 word response about your listening experience and post to your blog. Be sure to link to the stories you listened to. Your response should strive to respond to the stories as a group, not individually." If my previous post was anything less than my experience about the "This I Believe" stories, please do not hesitate to say so. I posted my complete and total feelings from the heart and I did in fact say what I thought the broadcasts were all about: Soothing NPR voices with a touch of people expounding upon the ways they conduct their life around a miniscule occurrence or scenario that pronounced itself in their past. If I didn't say that, coupled with my experience listening to these, I don't know what I did. I'm sorry if my voice wasn't an appealing aspect of the piece, but my content was there.

I realize how I misunderstood the part I misunderstood and here's what I can tell you about that. I like the broadcasts that dealt with topics I was also interested in and I'd probably talk on how I believe in running my life around not doing as your told, but at least still being good for yourself. There's a part of me that wants to live lawless but not be evil about it. Possibly a Robin Hood lifestyle, just less bows and arrows. Something about living within your own being and realizing society is all a fabricated collection of things created by humans who need to feel in control of something, is exciting.

It's gotta have passion.

How do you learn about writing? Passion. Passion of your soul and words to say what pisses you off, what made you speechless, what was beautiful about your journey. If you're not passionate, you can't write.

And that's what I came here to say. I haven't written this blog because I wasn't passionate about the assignment. Since Thursday, I've been stewing over the idea of dropping this class to hell and below, but now that I have a moment, here I am. I've been staring at the Schedule page on the wordpress blog for a while now but every time I sit down, I find myself wondering off with my camera or receiving a call from the journalistic world putting me out on an assignment. Fuck excuses any way.

What the hell did these broadcasts all have in common? Soothing NPR voices. Damn those voices remind me of my grandfather listening to his classical favorites, or the summer days I'd spend in North Carolina with my uncle cleaning his entire house for a Benjamin. It took time, but I suppose it was worth it. Yeah, nice NPR voices... Also, I suppose you could say they collectively contained some sense of what that individual's belief on life was about. It made me realize that we all have our own way of saying, "This is life as I see it. Let me try and personify that for you, or bring it home with an example." I thought all of them we're overly sappy and grasping at straws except for the god one. Of course, I agreed with the man completely because I'm passionate about a world without gods, so that's probably why it's the only one sticking in my mind right now. I know there was one about pizza (which only did enough good to remind me what I can't have) and there was another about baseball. I fucking hate people who are overly passionate about sports. Get over it, it's a game, remember? You're not helping by screaming at them, or wearing a mock-up of their jersey. Let 'em lose. Christ. I picked two with topics I was passionate about: Books and dogs. Holy shit, there's nothing better in life than books and dogs. Maybe sex. Maybe. Books about sex? Nah, they just say the same things over and over again. Oh, also music. Music wins all. Music can be about books, dogs, and sex. I digress.

I picked books and dogs. Okay. The dogs one almost brought me to tears because I miss having dogs so bad. I had 10 at one point. A poodle, a beagle, an Australian Cattle Dog and her 7 puppies. That was the life. I was rolling in puppies. Maybe I just really liked those puppies. Dogs are, by far, the best animal to evolve yet. They come to you, they're funny, they want to make you happy, and above all, they don't care who you are - the just want to be your best friend and maybe eat away at that tennis ball in the meantime. Dogs, man. My boyfriend gets mad because the majority of my dreams contain dogs in some form.
Then there's the books. My favorite band's name is The Books. They're like a book. They use sound clips behind their music to create the story. Even with that useless knowledge, books are great things. Currently, I'm reading three fiction books. The Complete Chronicles of Sherlock Holmes, Flowers for Algernon, and DragonLance. Without books.. I'd never have a way to leave this world. I want to throw all the nonfiction and textbooks I read against the wall. I can't stand that crap. If I'm about to read 500 - 1000 pages of you rattling shit off, it better be entirely made up and contain dragons or murder - preferably both.

Maybe I'm stubborn. I don't like being told what to do. I'll do the opposite. Sometimes I'm asked to clean the floor. Well fuck you - I'll clean the floor when I can't stand it anymore.
... I'm not sure that's on topic at all.. If I'm passionate about it, I'll do it.

Once again I don't understand the entire prompt of this blog. "The goal of this assignment is to identify what appeals to you about each option, what you think you might like to choose, and what you think you might like to say." No idea where the context of that is from. I think it's referring to the "digital tool" we'd like to research on and I already know I'm doing 8tracks.


Oh, and one last point - I have no idea how to use that DALN site. What the hell was that?

* * *

Upon further review of this blog post, I'd like to elaborate on something I've been thinking about.

I choose dogs and books and loved the broadcasts because I felt like I had something in common with the speakers, however, the fact that all of the "This I Believe" speeches are essentially about the same exact, "Here's-an-experience-of-mine-and-how-it's-manifested-into-a-minute-principle-I-think-should-govern-my-actions" guidelines, I find the broadcasts very.... unimpressive. A couple here when someone has a really interesting perspective or outlook should probably make the program, however, when I looked at the URLs of the broadcasts I picked, they're already on 68,000+ of these things. Penn did, what, number 34? Slow it down, NPR. 

Which leads me into another problem. There are so many of these where's the passion anymore? Where's the passion to find that one unique outlook and broadcast it for the world? Are these 68,000+ broadcasts even differing really in subject matter anymore? TV shows don't usually last more than 200 - 250 shows, how can we have 68,000 people all telling us something different about life? I'm sure 35% state something about how we should all just slow down and 25% tell us about how kids can teach us something, while another 15% or so discuss educations benefits or a revelation someone had one day. Then the remaining 25% are probably unique enough to stand out. And then how far is someone really going to take this random advice given by random people. I mostly listened and said, "that's nice, cool bro," and moved on. How many people are doing the same? To really have that passionate impact, I think an amount of carefully selecting what you want to say, selecting the cream-of-the-crop, the Grade A plays a part. I wouldn't take the first 25 pictures of my 1000+ frames and say, "Here's my finished work, sir." I go through and stare at each individual image. I think over it's strong points, point out it's weak ones, debate over what I should and shouldn't include. I also don't say, "Here's 1000 pics, sir." How exasperated would you be trying to look at 1000 pictures while trying to understand the story? NPR's got a good idea with these broadcasts but there are only a certain number of experiences that can happen to a person. You can understand a type of person by understanding what sort of experiences they've had. That's what makes that "type" of person. While sure, they'll vary in their minute details, overall their grand picture of life is the same. Where else would we get political parties, civil rights movements, or romantic novelists?

This update brought to you by a Journalism major/Sociology minor. 

(broadcasts I chose: http://thisibelieve.org/essay/10598/  http://thisibelieve.org/essay/68795/ )

Digital Compostion and it's Attempt

As I watched these various videos laid down by the teacher, I begin to wonder - are we really at this apex of beautiful digital composition, or are we just trying to pick flowers out of the rubble? I agree with what Miller says, what "why teach digital writing" says, with Informational R/evolution says (although, I still never figured out why revolution has a slash in it). My issue with all of these is just that this "world" of information isn't as grand as we think it is. Sure your Wikipedia is humongous, but after having ten classes in a row telling its students to stay the hell away from its information because it has 200,000+ contributors, does that really make Wiki a good thing or is it simply just a neat concept to stem from the digital world? There are plenty of neat concepts to come out of this digital age, but does that mean we need to strive to reach them? Or does that mean we need to be the next person to think up the new concept?

The internet is huge, and yes, a really cool way to find things out..... Yes, we should know how to use it so we know how to get to the valuable sources and aren't floundering in a world of "You're the 1,000,000th visitor! You Win!" I firmly believe in that. But with these 5000 ways to do one thing, couldn't we say that being a digital composer mirrors this? How can we define what makes a "good" digital composition when the digital world proves there's no one right way, one "good" way, to do anything? 


I'm not sure how you can have "teachers of writing" and how they can create "consequences for students" if there are a 1.7 million different ways to have something detailed, found, interpreted. For a class to consider itself a "teacher" of digital composition, I don't think having "consequences" is a way to conduct class. Maybe if the goal was to let every student develop their own style and create something totally their own on their blog, or whatever medium they choose to use, sure. But I don't think there can even be a definition of "consequences" when barely anyone with their own style and is a well known identity on the internet suffers consequences. To me, writing is a compilation of your own thoughts fueled by the input of others. I'm a journalism major and if I write but fail to interview anyone, it's not a good piece. Just running around saying "this is what digital is" is about as powerful as someone with no expertise telling me about the newest breakthrough in medical vaccines. If you don't know, you don't know. If you want to know, go ask someone in person who's really got the knowledge you're seeking. Don't bother the internet unless you're doing basic research. And I mean basic. Like how to pronounce a word, or what exactly a medical term means before you start walking around spouting bullshit like an idiot. I write for other people. Not to make myself feel like a glorified prince among peons. I don't know anything better than the average person and I write so they know just as much as I do and can interpret or take away what they will from there.


Honestly, I'm not even sure if I answered the prompt for this blog. The arbitrary guidelines don't leave much room for concrete thought. You've either got to have a topic, or you have nothing at all. It's not just "writing," its developing and creating through your findings and discussion with others. Maybe I'm missing the whole point of all of this but it seems so frivolous the roundabout way the videos and website go about talking about "how" I should do something. How can you be an expert in a world where everyone and no one is as expert simultaneously?

Seems another class requires blogging..

Hello blog,
Well, here we are, Spring quarter 2012. Two semesters into the future and I'll be a college graduate. How sickening. Turns out this Digital Composing class I'm in wants me to blog so, once again you'll be a class blogging blog. Sorry. Y'know the world blog loses it's meaning after you say it too much. Blog. Sounds like blob. Like a blobby log. Gross. Wonder how "blog" got its name? -deep breath- Okay. Class blog, now, you are. Write here much, apparently, I will.


-Marisa

Mom and Pop Shop For Your Pop(ular Culture)

            “Hey, can I throw something atcha?” A broad man to my left asks as he turns from the X-Box and games he’s trying to sell to the woman on the other side of the counter and faces a wary-looking me, “I mean figuratively, of course.”

I understood his insinuation, “Right. Shoot, man.”

“This place? There’s another place right around the corner that does the exact same thing. They’re corporately owned, this is privately owned. We get to see these guys every day. I come in here fairly often. Usually I come in in the evenings and it’s the same people. So, as I deal with this guy and say I sell all this stuff today – tomorrow I’ll come back to buy something else. We deal with the same guy and he’ll give us a break. He’ll give us just a little better price because he knows us. I like this place for that reason. Especially this guy,” he points across the counter to the store manager, Andy O’Connell. “This place” is the CD/Game Exchange on Short Vine in Clifton, Cincinnati and the previous discourse by my X-Box selling friend is a wonderful testimonial embodying the essence of this great store just a block off campus. 

CD/Game Exchange started back in the 1970s when two brothers began a store with only their own little record collection. It flourished into five stores but eventually the owner cut it down to the two most successful stores – one in Norwood, and this one in Clifton. Today they buy more movies than CDs or games, and try to sell things cheaper than retail but just enough to make a profit. Unlike corporate stores who only buy recent technology and games, CD/Game Exchange will buy old Super Nintendos, first generation DS’s, and CDs from 20 years ago. Andy sold an Atari the other day. Unfortunately the vinyl record shelves are dwindling and with the lack of sales, once those are gone, that’ll be it for the giant 5 song CDs.

Upon first entering the store, music is playing from an unknown somewhere, and posters hang down loose from every inch of the ceiling. The walls are lined entirely with glass cases filled with movies, CDs, and games in alphabetical order. Behind the counter are console controllers from all eras, and there’s even a section for new releases. According to Andy, they will order new music, movie, and game releases every so often to bring in a little more money. “Our busiest day of the year is when the new Madden comes out. I sell out of Adele’s CD almost every week.” The smaller spaces where the walls aren’t being used for shelves are encrusted with stickers, posters and the occasional concert ticket. The pictures overlap covering bits of each other leaving some images to the imagination. 

Andy O’Connell has worked at CD/Game Exchange for eleven years. He’s 28 years old seems to have no plans of abandoning the store. It’s a part of him. He knows his customers and they know Andy. During our conversation, he spots a man coming into the store with a bag in his hand. Before the guy’s even halfway in the door, Andy leans over to his associate, Lisa, and whispers, “The guy’s back with the X-Box and games.” Andy even knew what games the guy had before looking through the pile. The way he was attuned to this customer before he was even a foot inside really brings to life the wonderful local attitude of knowing your customers and knowing their needs that larger businesses fail to do. “I know a lot of people’s first names,” he tells me later, “we got that kind of mom and pop sort of feel.”

If you’re in the market to sell answering machines, shoes, or food, however, don’t stop at the CD/Game Exchange. Andy tells me he had to turn people away for trying to sell these sorts of items. The infamous Beatles’ album with the butcher cover came through once, but his manager bought it right up. Having first pick of the new items like that is something Andy and Lisa both love about the store. The relaxed hours fit their lifestyles and listening to good music all day is certainly a plus. “I’ve played guitar since I was a little kid,” Andy mentions when I asked about his personal passion for music. 

I stood at the counter watching Lisa process many transactions. One girl stops in to quickly sell Disney’s “Robin Hood,” and a couple other guys are selling games. A sandy-haired, lanky guy with glasses came in asking if Andy knew another customer who apparently patrons the place regularly. Without fail, Andy knew and even could attest that that particular customer is off in Chicago right now. Lisa took on her job here because she needed a second income, but now loves the place despite the “job” stipulation. And how could she not? CD/Game Exchange is a great place to find some of the best prices on the world’s most favorite forms of entertainment and even get a touch of friendly familiarity while you’re at it.

There's Got To Be Something Besides Facebook.

Alright internet. You're an ever expanding mass of technological innovation and yet, what the hell do people do all day? Get on fucking facebook. I frequent Reddit with a passion because I've started into this downward spiral with FaceBook. Seriously, I don't give a crap about what your new bike looks like, what you and your boyfriend are doing, how much you don't want to be talked to right now, how great you and so-and-so are getting along, what music you're listening to, movie you're watching, or food item you're eating. Enough is ENOUGH. Does no one get tired of removing the mystery from life? What fun is it to know what everyone is doing all the time? Where will the conversation go when you actually hang out? Oh, what am I saying? You won't hang out because your fucking internet relationship is better than a PHYSICAL one. Fuck, man.

I'll admit, Reddit is pretty dumb, too. Amidst maybe 4 actual current news stories, you have 25 cats, 7 macro pictures, songs from 6 years ago that people still fucking like, and gobs of memes. I sit there and scroll through it and giggle to myself at the humor of it all, and then I retract. Holy shit, I seriously just laughed at a cat popping out of a box? Are you fucking kidding me? THAT'S what I think is funny?! And I close the window.

People just veg in front of FaceBook or Google for hours and then look around and exclaim, "Omg, I just procrastinated, better write that paper." Ten minutes later, they're back on FaceBook. No, I'm not trying to be high and mighty about it all - I've been there! That's why it really bothers me. How the hell did I do that with my life? How the hell did I just let myself sit there and muse, "haha, look at that dumb meme" or "wow, Jenny has a new kitchen." HOW?!

It's these reasons why I don't see a problem with video games. With a video game - no matter how idiotic you may think the plot (or lack thereof) may be -  at least the person is actively giving their mind to something rather than scrolling up and down on their news-feed wondering why there's nothing new for them to not give a shit about. That's another issue. As much as you'll read the post about Jenny's new kitchen, do you give it more than 12 seconds pondering? No. You do not. You glance, like, move on. Fuck you. Go SEE that kitchen for chrissake. Be IN it. There's nothing more real than the real and Facebook removes us from the real.

Yeah, sure, okay, it keeps us in touch with each other, but how much harder is it to pick up your phone and text someone, "Dude, do you have a boyfriend now?" or "Hey man, how's your life going." Doing it over the internet just isn't the same, because if you said all that, two clicks later you could figure out how everything is.

It's the mystification of life that is lost. No one cares. And that is sad. Put down your facebooks and your reddits, your youtubes, and googles. Walk outside with a book. Sit down and play Kingdoms of Amalur or COD against friends. Activate your minds. Stop being Facebook zombies. You know you are. Fucking do something about it. End the cycle.

Shit.